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You ever feel like you narrowly avoided something bad happening to you?

I’ve walked that route back to my dorm a dozen times, but that night was the first time I ever felt like something was wrong.

I’ve never been scared of walking at night. On guard, yes, but never frightened. That night I was scared out of my mind. Despite there being no one in my immediate vicinity, I felt like I was being watched the whole time. There’s this real distict difference I’ll get when something has been manufactured by my imagination and paranoia vs. when something is real. I think my stomach started twisting because I could tell it was the latter.

I don’t think I’ve ever felt that way before. It was a sobering feeling, all at once, I realized how foolish it was walking by myself at night when I had other (albeit limited) options. I started regretting it the second I crossed the street, and fir that entire 20 minute walk, the feeling didn’t go away.

Even two days later, I’m still deeply unsettled by that experience. It was like a weird sensation of alarm bells filled every inch of my body to warn me of my impending demise. I think what made it even scarier was, just that morning, I’d been extra appreciative of my life that day. That would be the perfect kind of irony to end a day on.

You would be right to assume I prayed the whole time there, asking for mercy just one more time. I’ve done some stupid things but I’ve never regretted something more. Almost immediately I thought of my mom, how she would be devastated if something happened to me, and it only made me pray harder.

I took the bus back. Even after all that it broke my habit of walking at night. I got scared straight, if you will. Perhaps I should feel some sort of care for my safety, not getting caught up in the complacency of protection time and time again.

We serve a merciful God, one who sometimes ensures we don’t have to learn a lesson the hard way.