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Ever wonder where I got my username from? I used to be seriously stuck in my head as a kid. It’s no wonder why I grew up to be a writer, having such a vivid imagination and all.

I haven’t really maladaptively daydreamed in years. It’s more like excessive now, where it doesn’t really interrupt my day-to-day aspects of living. I’ve always been fairly high-functioning in whatever I do, so even if it were interruptive, it’d be hard to tell.

But lately, I don’t know. It’s becoming more appealing again. I haven’t had a relapse before, because I’d tend to get stuck not having “satisfying” enough daydreams, which would be frustrating in the moment, but worked out to my benefit because I wouldn’t get that shot of dopamine that would keep me running back to the fantasies inside my head.

I think it’s because I’ve given myself less external stimuli, as well. I’m trying out something new lately where I don’t watch or listen to or consume anything while I work, just so I can let the thoughts roll off onto the page. So far it’s been really nice, I think I really like this workflow, but I think that part of my brain that isn’t distracted now has a lot of time to think. And when I think, I tend to wander.

Maybe that’s the downside of having an imagination, after all. I can do it for hours again, where I start disconnecting from the world in class because all it takes is one second to zone out before it sucks you back in again. It probably doesn’t help that I’m taking a writing class this quarter, where we’re encouraged to stimulate our imaginations to make them come to life. Even now this article is nonsensical, because I keep zooming in and out of focus, like a camera lens looking for a subject.