I’ve never decorated my walls before. That’s both a truth and a lie; meaning, I’ve never decorated them in any meaningful way; it’s always been one sad little poster, one piece of loose leaf tacked to the wall. Never have there been any pictures, any artworks, any evidence of my being there. Every single wall I’ve ever owned has been bare.
It harkens back to my childhood. We could never be satisfied with just one house for a very, very long time; in fact, the longest we’ve ever been in any residence was two years. There’s always some deeper issue that makes settling down there in the long-term impossible; but also, as renters, our desires were never to stay in one place. Home can be anywhere and not stuck between four walls, so we’d always go leaping between them.
Therefore, the walls never had a chance to accumulate anything of value. Most times, I never had my own room, but when I did, I knew there was no point in hanging anything up; in a year’s time, everything would end up coming down anyway.
Even when I have the chance to make my spaces mine, there’s still that age-old habit that lingers inside me that can’t be bothered to claim them if I know I’ll only be leaving. I’ll decorate my desk, and lay out my wardrobe, and even carefully arrange the items on my nightstand, but never does anything go up on the walls.
What’s more ironic is that it’s never out of lacking; I’ve collected wall art and prints over the years. I picked out a framed design to hang up on the wall one day. I even own a clock I plan to put in my kitchen. They’ve been blanketed with a layer of dust while they’re tucked away in my life worth’s of closeted storage bins.
Eventually the day will come when I acquire a place of my own, and I’ll have to wipe everything down with rubbing alcohol and clean all the floors. Then I’ll start moving the furniture in and lay out the covers and floral sheets on my bed in a very deliberate manner. I’ll decorate my desk, and place my plants on the window sill, and hopefully, by then, I’ll realize that I can decorate my walls.
HAPPY 