✷

It’s sobering to realize your life is about to change.

I’ve noticed its undercurrents for a few moments every week, and especially the past few days. There’s been a sudden difference of something inside me, a gravitational pull that’s enabled me to be sociable easily. I’ve always been approachable, but I think I’ve finally realized that people actually want to talk to me. It’s not a farce, or a favor. It’s not a polite gesture. People actually enjoy me. I get it now.

There’s this nervous tingling I feel about it, my life circumstances switching, but if I’m nervous, that’s good. That means things are happening. I don’t feel that normal drag of low self-esteem and self-consciousness hanging around me anymore. It’s like I’m accepting of good things that are happening to me. Why not accept it? Why not embrace it lovingly? I think I stunted so much of my personal growth by not allowing myself the kindness of others, to be trusting.

For it, my life is changing. I’m in a new place making new friends with new opportunities I’ve never had before. This is so exciting. I feel it making me lighter, more willing. Willing to enjoy everything. Willing to enjoy living.