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Author: Happy

  • BAD LUCK GETS BETTER

    In a string of bad luck, the one thing I can always count on is that it will eventually lessen one day.

    It’s a routine of life: I’m doing fine, I face a sudden string of bad luck where everything goes wrong, and then suddenly everything pays off and I get granted some big life-changing thing I’ve been waiting for. It’s the same old, tired played out routine; it is almost an unfortunate state of being to be able to read the signs of life, because you know what you have in store, and what you have to endure to first get there.

    Does life become more or less fun when you can read its signs, when you can interpret your future? I always wondered if this was some sort of accidental divination, which I know we’re not supposed to do, but I can’t help if my brain is trained to recognize patterns. Or maybe I just always have bad luck and am only sometimes more sensitive to noticing it, who knows.

  • THE PHANTOM OF THE PHOTOGRAPHY

    I’m a phantom when it comes to portraiture; it’s some weird phenomenon that affects my family. We could be spirited away tomorrow and there would never be any proof of our existing. In candids we are tucked away; in group photos we succumb to shadows. It’s so interesting how three generations are all afflicted by the ailment that seems allergic to cameras.

  • CLOCKS WILL NEVER BE MY FRIEND

    There is never enough time! Sometimes I marvel at the ways some people seem to have infinite seconds; how does anyone find the time to be bored? To have nothing to do? It seems like an impossible position to me.

    It’s a familial affliction, I presume, because it seems to be a generational curse; my mother has been busy all her life, and now I worry my future children will suffer the same.

    I know I have no choice but be going going going all the time- what I really want is stability, and since I know that stability leads to complacency for me, I know that the Father would never grant me that kind of reprieve, because I wouldn’t want to do anything anymore. I’d be to comfortable to care.

    But sometimes, I just wish I had more time on my side! I want time to run errands without overlapping, to take breaths between assignments and give my wrists a break, to just take a moment to catch up with the world again. It’s so hard to catch a break when your candle burns at both ends.

  • THE EXQUISITE TASTE OF WATER

    Finally, I get to meet up with my friends! It’s been a dream ten years in the making. The only issue with online friends is the ordeal that arises to meet them. Even worse when you’re younger, when a lack of independence and autonomy means your only obstacle isn’t just the separation by state lines.

    But it’s all unfolding now, and I’m so excited! I had a killer day with one of my friends today, a sort of pre-game to tomorrow’s big events. The only issue is the impending tornado that’s set to hit, but thankfully, we’ll be going around that one. Ah, I’m so excited! And I’m so blessed we finally have the chance to see each other face-to-face; it’s never awkward.

    I even got to stock up on a host of old manga and DVDs too, and my impeccable taste of Hikaru No Go and Shaman King was approved by the guy who rang me up. He even mentioned that the former is receiving a reprint, which is like music to my ears! That series was always a favorite of mine; I’ve now gone from reading them through the library to owning a copy with my own hands, haha. (I even managed to find some DVD copies of Yokai Watch, an omnibus from Negima– which I did not buy, but instead went for Vol. 10, season collections of Chapelle Show and Good Times, and then finally acquired a charger for my 3DS. It only took four years, haha.)

    I finally got my lips on some water, too! After I met up with my friend and we ate Zaxby’s together at the park (a suggestion made by another friend of ours), we hit up one of the paths and covered almost three miles of it by the time we left. I’ve already been stupidly dehydrated since I’ve left my dorm for the world- my pee has been an interesting shade of orange- but I’ve gotten to remedy that with the massive gallon of water I’ve finally managed to secure, the first time I’ve stepped in a grocery store in months now. I’ve got a killer headache still. I’m also starting to realize that I greatly appreciate cities with walkable floorplans.

    I had to kill most of my time here working on some overdue assignments for school, really so my grade wouldn’t plummet, more than anything, but this place has some interesting coffee shops. My favorites are the chess cafes and the blended skate park-cafe I managed to find. I’m sitting there right now, as a matter of fact, and will probably spend the rest of the evening making my way back to the hostel before I set my projector up and enjoy my new Saw DVD boxset- I managed to get the first seven films for super cheap, too!

    Tomorrow, hopefully we won’t be lambasted by the tornado that’s set to arrive, and I’ll be one day closer to getting home, where hopefully I can veg out and drink all the water I could ever dream of, and abuse the shit out of the new option WordPress has for you to use plugins on personal plans. For now, it’s time for some fun in the sun! No more coding or working for others; just for me. After that, I’ll finally be back at home in my mother’s arms, and we can have a grand ole time with the four days we’re set to send together before my school schedule whisks me away again. Eleven days is never a long time, haha.

  • NATIONAL DREAM DAY

    Check your calendars — it’s National Dream Day! I had no clue such an event existed before today. It’s inception was designed for us to remember and realize that we can go after any dream we set our minds to, big or small, no matter what.

    As a professional dreamer, I can endorse this type of day wholeheartedly! It sticks out to me for another reason, as well: a series of mine centering around dreams, both literal and metaphorical, has always been written to have started on or around this time of March. Specifically March 12, but I wonder if I should change it to March 11!

  • SMITTEN BY THE SPIRIT OF LOVE

    There was a time about a month or two ago where I was suddenly overtaken by the spirit of a cinephile, and for the first time ever, I actually purchased an all-you-can-see movie pass at Regal, valid for three months. I saw a movie just about three times a week, sometimes even more than once! (Looking at you, Iron Lung.)

    The one thing that turned me over to get it was their movie selection: in addition to the current releases, they also spruced things up with rereleases and all sorts of fun events. Enter their occasional ballet screenings.

    Boy, was I an immediate fan! I’ve always wanted to venture out to the ballet; the closest I ever got was being in our association’s plays of The Nutcracker, in which we’d sit in the back for two hours after our part was done. Outside of the man hours I’ve poured into watching short videos of ballet dancers for research, and salivating over clips of Mikhail Baryshnikov (also for research, I assure you), I’ve never actually experienced what it’s like to be an audience member.

    So the moment I saw that Regal would be screening Giselle, I was over the moon! Not only would I get to experience the play firsthand (well, erm, secondhand, if you count the camera), but I would also get to hit on a vital aspect of research for one of my projects. Plus, I had an excuse to get fixed up, too!

    Then, after a bit more browsing, I ended up discovering that they’d be doing a screening of the Royal Ballet’s Romeo and Juliet, too! It was another play I’d only ever heard about tangentially; for all the Hamlets and Othellos and The Tempests we read in school, I don’t think Romeo and Juliet was ever one of them. We even saw a performance of Two Brothers of Verona, but not what’s considered the greatest love tragedy of all time. My knowledge of the play was limited outside of that one Tumblr post that made fun of the ephemeral infatuation of teenaged love (“five people died and it lasted three days”). Hell, I almost forgot that they’re supposed to die at the end!

    The theater, much to my delight, was fairly empty except for the older couple sitting a row ahead of me, so I got to spread out and enjoy becoming engrossed in the movie without the distraction of others. I was thirty minutes late, so I don’t know how much I truly missed of it, but I wasn’t lost at all, even with my minimal knowledge of the play going in; during the ballroom scene, where I’m assuming Juliet was dancing with the man that’s meant to be her betrothed, she’s swept away by a masked Romeo, whom her family desperately tries to keep her away from.

    The dancers behind Juliet and Romeo were absolutely captivating; I especially enjoyed the little moment during the cinema intermission where they played a brief interview with the performers, Fumi Kaneko and Vadim Muntagirov, both of whom I admired by the end; they made such a demanding art form look so fun. I was almost sad it ended, haha. Part of me wondered how anyone couldn’t see ballet as the illusionary act it was: you’re meant to be the picture of grace and form even after hours and hours of straight lifts and dancing. I couldn’t help but love them both by the time it was over! (Also, apparently Kaneko and Muntagirov just got married in February! I knew that chemistry and love felt too real to fake!!)

    There was a part of me that was initially wondering if it was worth the $20 outing, but the me now says it absolutely was! Had I not had a class schedule booked solid tomorrow, I would have even gone to see it again on March 9 (and a teensy part of me is still considering it anyway, as a treat for finishing finals, haha).

    I also appreciated the opportunity to give my old pink ballet shrug a new life again. I decked myself out in a full outfit of pink- sans the boots, of course, which where my chunky white platforms- because I didn’t have the opportunity to wear this outfit on Valentine’s Day, like I planned, so I recycled it to be the day of my ballet outing. Not only do I have a new cute outfit to wear, but I also got to stay snuggled up and warm while watching one of the most romantic plays of the centuries!

    And yes, is the story of Romeo and Juliet a little melodramatic? Yes, but that’s what makes it so fun! The drama, the impulsiveness, the youthful mistake of seeing love as the end-all-be-all of life. Combined with the actual love story between Kaneko and Muntagirov, there was no way I wouldn’t be wooed away by the spirit of love! Such a romantic experience, it was. So cute! I wish the couple well in their life of marriage!

  • A TRIP DOWN MEMORY LANE

    I had a reclamation of self today. Upon unearthing my old YouTube channel, now I know tangibly who I used to be. There is definitive evidence of my being, of my interests, of my dreams. I quite enjoyed knowing that there are still pieces of me that exist out there, things that have been untouched by time :)

  • THE CREDITS FOR THE END OF THE WORLD

    I had a dream last night where the world was ending, this time through a flood. As the water climbed higher, and as we tried to escape how icy it was, we eventually reached the terminal point, a wooden balcony atop a large station, and after that, there would be nowhere else to go. As I and many other strangers accepted our fate, the water ceased rising, and the world darkened slightly. Off in the distance, credits played over the blue sky like it was a movie screen, and soft, tinny trumpets echoed around us.

  • COULDN’T BEE-LIEVE MY EYES!

    I had a honeybee hitch a ride with me on my scooter today. I was quite befuddled, at first, seeing it land on my speedometer while I was stopped at a red light. I had no idea they made a habit of that, either!

    I figured it would’ve flown off once I started moving again, but it merely coated its little legs in a sticky substance and rode with me all three miles. I even stayed under 30 MPH just so she wouldn’t be too uncomfortable!

    I eventually pulled over at my destination, to which she licked her little legs dry and flew off to explore new flowery horizons. I hope she’s doing well, wherever she ends up being! ❤️

  • THE DOMAIN MIGRATION

    Eventually, there will come a time where I’ll need to migrate my domain to some other name. If you’ve gone far enough back in my posts, you’ll have noticed that, at some point, I mentioned my domain name was merely a placeholder.

    “Delusional Loser” is not me. Well, technically it is, since I’m going to be working and founding the brand, but Delusional Loser is not my personal baby. Since it’s the future name of a company, I merely kept the domain on hand so I could make sure it wouldn’t be snatched up later.

    What does that mean, exactly? At some point, this domain will no longer redirect to my blog. It’ll be the studio’s landing page, and already I’ve been dabbling with a few name combinations. But if I’m going to be eventually offering some services to the general public, I need something separate enough from “for fun” endeavors that they won’t interfere with my professional life.

    This also includes a sitewide makeover and logo change, but those are concerns for another day! I should worry about finding a new name before I start thinking about any of that!